March 25, 2012

It has been a LONG time ......

I started this blog about a year ago, and quickly stopped writing when my life became hectic and tumultuous. It has been a whirlwind of a year in so many ways.... Financially, emotionally, physically... with tons of traveling, work, and heartache. So much has changed. So much has happened. I don't even know where to begin.

The van took a shit while I was out in Yosemite last spring. The transmission went out, and I didn't have the money to fix it. So, when the tow truck guy came to take it away, I sold it to him for a few hundred bucks. It was time. I definitely cried as i watched the tow truck drive away. That van had been my home for the last six years. It was the only space in my life that was truly "mine." I hitched a ride back to Boulder and remained car-less until October, when my sister sold me her Ford Explorer as she was leaving for Africa. I miss the van.... It was roomy with a full double bed in the back, tons of storage space, big comfy seats up front for driving ..... and it had character. The new rig is pretty ordinary, but it is slowly growing on me. I need to trim down what I bring on trips, but dig the four wheel drive and better gas mileage!

The sumer was tough, because the boy I was dating went off to fight fire all summer.  I missed him a ton and spent lots of money visiting California to see him. We had some incredible and idyllic times together when he could get a few days off ... then he went to Yosemite after finishing work and broke up with me right before Christmas and broke my heart in the process.

So, the holidays were hard, and I was so psyched for them to be over! I needed a vacation for my heart and my soul.... something new.... exciting... scary... crazy .... something that would change the course of my life.....


The first week of January, I jumped in the car and drove straight to Lodi, California. My only mission was to complete my AFF (Accelerated Free Fall) training. After that, who knows.... I was terrified, but determined to see what it was like. I just wanted to scare myself senseless, and knock my heart out of the rut it was in ....

 I had no idea how much I would love the sky and flying.

Seven weeks and 120 jumps later, I had to come back to Boulder to work. I had spent WAY too much money, but was climbing or jumping every day. A friend of mine asked me what it felt like to skydive, and here's what I told him:

      "It is like the ocean. Stepping out of the plane is like nothing else in this world. Time stops ... there is only peace, falling, floating, serenity... like you are being swept into a wave. The first five seconds are like a dream world...... and then you start to hit the wind as you pick up speed. It feels like the air is holding you, tossing you if you let it. The earth nears .... coming up closer and closer .... and if you were to do nothing, you would impale with the ground, and all would end .... but then you pull your chute, hope it opens and float like a feather until you land. It is therapy ... total zen meditation... the epitome of letting go."

My car, newly purchased parachute, and climbing gear are still in Sacramento, and in two days I am flying out to pick them up and run around for another six-week adventure. I have no idea where it will take me or what will happen, but I am psyched!

Mostly, I am just excited to get back on the road. Nothing fills me more than the unknown.... Nothing heals my heart like adventure, solitude, and the new-ness of each day.... now it is just me, Charlie and the Ford Explorer :)

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